Kutunga: The Ghost of My Future
by TaylorSwiftAndPercabethForever
Summary: When Jannali falls victim to a racial battle, she falls into a coma. However unaware of this, her spirit self continues to live her daily life. There are people who believe she doesn't deserve to live... Does anyone believe she deserves to live? Follow her story as she falls in love and that her background isn't important to those who care Rated T because of discrimination, subject
1. Chapter 1

****This was written by me, Percabeth-is-endless and other people we know

**Kutunga: The Ghost of My Future**

**Chapter One**

****Jannili's Point of View

It was dark. The only source of light backstage was the dim, glow of the single bulb. I tried to be as quiet as possible as I ascended the ladder to the jumping platform, but it wasn't easy considering that the ladder was ancient and creaked at the slightest shake.

As I reached the top, the sound of the ringmaster and audience was much louder, which made sense considering that there was only a curtain between us. From the sound of the music playing in the background, I knew that the tightrope walkers were concluding their act, and I was up next.

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and exhaled. Memories of my childhood back in Darwin filled my mind and I felt myself smiling as I remembered dancing in the summer rain and sharing stories around the campfire. I remembered always feeling included and not having a care in the world.

Then my thoughts trailed back to the day when the circus came to town. I remember begging my parents to let me go, and them finally giving in to my pleading. I remember watching in awe as the performers moved their bodies in ways I never thought possible. The first time I watched the _Circ de Carnival_ was without a doubt the best night of my life.

Then came the day, years later when the circus returned, looking for new recruits. I remember volunteering without even thinking. Crying with joy when they accepted me, and waving goodbye to my family.

That was the day my life changed.

I was no longer the girl that danced in the rain. No longer the girl that shared scary stories around the campfire. I was a hard worker. I devoted my life entirely to perfecting my routine. There was no time for fun.

But that wasn't the only difference. I was also no longer the girl who fit in. I was the only Aboriginal-Australian in the whole circus. I was the only black fish in a sea of white.

Most of the performers didn't mind, but some didn't want anything to do with me. Sometimes I caught them giving me dirty looks. But I ignored it. I didn't join the circus to fit in, I joined it because it was my dream. I mean sure, I got lonely at times. But it was the memories of my family, and the hope that one day I could return to them that kept me company. They fuelled me on.

I continued to dwell in my thoughts until a loud, booming voice yanked me back into reality, "And now Sydney, without further-a-do, I present to you: JANNALI BELCOURT, TRAPEZE ARTIST EXTRAORDINAIRE!"  
The crowd roared and cheered as the curtains separated and the spotlight hit me.

I paused for a moment and reviewed what I was about to do.

First, I leap two metres onto the first trapeze and do some tricks. Next, I jump onto the second trapeze and do some more tricks. Then I repeat that until I dismount with a double back-flip.

Simple.

I'd done it a million times before, but tonight something felt different. There was some sort of tension in the air. I felt a shiver travel down my spine and all my muscles tensed. But it wasn't nervousness I was feeling, it was more like a warning. Like something was about to go terribly wrong.

I shrugged off the feeling, deciding it was nothing and took a deep breath; my muscles loosened. I got into my starting position and the crowd died down, all eyes on me.

The music began, I leaned back and leaped; thrusting myself towards the bar.

I felt the familiar rush of adrenaline course through my veins as I reached out my arms to grasp the trapeze.

I was a mere metre away when suddenly, a male voice called out from the audience, "ABO!"

I heard laughter and then a couple more people began calling out insults.

I was shocked at first; I couldn't believe somebody would do that sort of thing.

The feeling was alienating, nothing like this had ever happened to me before – especially not while I was performing.

I tried to keep control of my emotions; I had to stay focused on my performance, but the words kept ringing in my head.

It all happened so fast. I reached for the bar, but my body wouldn't respond. The insulting words echoed through my mind and my emotions ran out of control.

Then suddenly, time slowed down. My hearing went funny and everything sounded like I was underwater. I couldn't process anything.

Then my body smashed against the ground and the whole world went black.

**R&R Please**


	2. Doctor's Report 1

**These come between chapters and have the point of view of the head doctor**

**Doctor's Report – 1**

The patient was rushed in today with a cracked skull and internal bleeding. She was unconscious and slipped into a coma. I had to leave my team to tend to her wounds because I couldn't bring myself to touch the feral, dirty creature that was using my resources. I made a quick excuse that I had paperwork to finish.

The nurse Stephanie came to me today saying that she couldn't tend to an unclean person who had no family or point of contact. In my mind I was agreeing fully but I couldn't show my distaste in front of lowers so I said, "It is your job and if you don't like it leave!" I continued to think about my problem.

**R&R Please**


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Ben's Point of View

The letter I had been dreading to open for four days now lay on the polished mahogany desk placed in front of me. It had been four and a half months since I had been given leave from the military base in Puli Khumri, Afghanistan, and the letter could only mean bad news. I tore the crisp white envelope in half that had been sent to me:

_Dear Benjamin Molten,_

_I am writing from our base in Afghanistan with some unfortunate news that may be rather upsetting. Your companion Andy Cascade, along with many other loyal serving men, has recently died from the serious disease malaria. He may have narrowly made it with your expert knowledge on this area of health. Andy was a great man and we were all deeply saddened by his sudden death. We are sorry to have had to send such news so soon after your leave was granted. We do hope you are enjoying your time back in Australia and hope to see you soon._

_Kind Regards,_

_Sergeant. Jack Porter_

_Military officer_

I sat there speechless, too shocked for the tears to escape my eyes. To think that if I had not accepted the leave, my best friend would be living. An overwhelming feeling of guilt washed over me, and the tears broke through the barrier of shock. I would never be the same person knowing that a decent, loyal serving man died on behalf of me.

The torn envelope and letter from the sergeant lay on the floor beside my feet. I threw them in the fire on the far side of the room and watched them burn and slowly vanish, just as the brother – like friend that I once cared for had.

After hours of sadness and grieving I felt lonely. I had no one left on this earth that I really cared for. Everything seemed so quiet, so hushed. I lay down on the lounge not knowing what to do. Suddenly, my silence was disrupted. I must have accidently bumped the remote as I lay down, The 7 o'clock news had just begun:

_"A young aboriginal girl, Jannali Belcourt, is currently in a coma after she fell off a trapeze while performing in the circus. A racist remark about her Aboriginal heritage is thought to have caused her loss of concentration. She is currently on her way to the Hospital where she will be put on life support."_

The screen showed a helpless young girl lying in the Ambulance. I wondered why someone would be so cruel to such a talented person. The day's events caused my emotions to have turned upside down. Ever since I left Afghanistan I didn't know who I was, after spending 10 years in a war, the once familiar streets of Sydney felt like an alien's land to me.

The first time in a week my phone rang, and I realised the last person to have called me was Andy. The screen on my phone flashed the name Stephanie Archer, My ex – girlfriend. I picked up:

"Hey Ben, I've just been thinking about you. I really miss you and think we should get back together. I mean we have so much in common and we really shouldn't have let that stupid fight get in the way of our relationship."

"Steph, I really think were better as friends. I mean, it didn't work out once, I don't think it will again, OK?"

"But Ben, I promise I've changed, I really love you! Please, we were meant for each other!"

"Steph, listen the answer is no, we've both changed and moved on. It should stay that way, I'm sorry!"

She slammed down the phone. I felt a feeling of regret as I realised Stephanie was the last person left that I once loved. The last person that loved me. But I realized that we weren't meant for each other, and that was how it was supposed to be. I'm not sure why but that girl, Jannali flooded through my thoughts.

**R&R Please**


	4. Doctor's Report 2

**Doctor's report – 2**

The patient's condition has remained stable much to my horror and disgust. If she remains stable for one more week we will have to put life support on for eight months. Then I will be stuck with filth in my once perfect hospital. Maybe I could trick them into believing she had an incurable disease and then the support would be turned off to prevent overcrowding, but how to do that?

**R&R Please**


	5. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

I got up from the white sheeted bed and walked past the busy receptionist not bothering to say bye as I knew she would not reply. I walked out of the sliding doors of the hospital but little did I know I had left my true body behind. I walked out, just walking I did not know where I was going, until I fell to the ground after bumping it to someone.

"I am so sorry" said a tall man with brown hair, tan skin and bright blue eyes who looked around his 20's. "Are you ok you look a bit pale?" he asked.

"Oh yeah, I, I, I am fine," I stumbled, I was feeling a bit strange.

"Where are you going?" He asked helping me to my feet, "Would you like a lift, I am in no hurry!" He was still smiling down at me, usually people would give me disgusted looks and ignore me,

"Oh I am going, ummm actually I do not really know, I will be fine don't worry," I answered.

"I will not take no for an answer," he said, "I will get you some coffee or some tea and by the way I am Benjamin Molten but you can call me Ben." He was holding his hand out to shake.

"Jannali," I replied, unsure. "My name is Jannali Belcourt." I thought he gave me a strange look but he immediately brushed it off.

Not knowing what to do, I followed him up the road to a tall grey apartment, up many flights of stairs and down the hall to a door that read 106.

"Welcome," he said, holding the door open.

"It is not much but… well on the bright side it has a good view!"

I walked in; compared to my cramped tent in the circus it was big and very well furnished.

"Do you live with anyone?" I asked and realised I sounded a bit like I was interested. "I mean just saying it is a great space for just one person"

"Well just my goldfish!" he said gesturing towards a coffee table where a gold fish was swimming madly around the bowl.

"Is he normally like this?" I laughed.

"No!" He laughed back, "No, I have never seen him like this, this is unusual. Oh and I forgot tea or coffee"

"I am fine," I replied I was not thirsty or hungry.

"No really you need a drink. I will get you some water."

He walked to the kitchen taking a jug of water out of the fridge.

"So what do you for a living?" he asked me, "Well I am a trapeze artist for a circus!" I said glancing over to the goldfish who was still swimming madly around his spot on the coffee table. "Wow," Ben said, "That is amazing; I bet you are really good."

"Oh yeah thanks, I am ok I suppose. What about you?" I asked back

"I work for defence forces, complicated stuff. Nothing a beautiful woman like you would be interested in," I blushed as he called me beautiful and came back with a glass of water that I took and put down next to me not intending to drink it.

"Oh, I was going to do something, umm what was it oh yeah my number, here is my number," he said ripping a piece of paper and then he scribbled down a number and then passed it to me.

"You can have mine here," I said and then wrote it down on another scrap of paper.


	6. Doctor's Report 3

**Doctor's Report – 3**

I called a conference today on our unknown patient and claimed that she had cancer and her body would not handle the chemotherapy. Stephanie stood up and said the patient showed no symptoms and where were the scans that showed the tumour or cells. What was she thinking she was the one who complained? Attempt one: status, failed.


	7. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Bring Bring! I looked down at my phone and hesitated. It was her... again. "Hello?" I asked.

"Ben! How are you? I haven't seen you in ages and we really need to catch up. Why didn't you call me back? I mean, you just got leave, we need to spend as much time as possible together be-

"Stephanie! I already told you. We are never getting back together; it didn't work out last time. And besides I'm seeing someone else." I said in frustration.

"Someone else, huh? What's her name?"

"Her name is Jannali Belcourt, if it was any of your business. I have to go and please don't call me again, I won't change my mind."

I hung up the phone and let it rest in my palm. Finally I plucked up the courage and dialled Jannali's number. "Hey, um I was just wondering if you wanted to see a movie tonight maybe. We could watch 'Jumping across Molten Lava'. I know it sounds weird, but its 4 stars and supposedly a comedy. What do you think?"

"I would love to" came Jannali's reply as she tried to turn on the television. Her fingers slid through the black plastic of the remote. "What time were you thinking?"

"I'll pick you up now if that's okay?"

Jannali threw the remote on the table in annoyance, trying to turn it on, "that would be great, see you then."

Ben walked to the intricately carved front door and stepped out into the sunshine.

As I walked into the cinema with Jannali, I looked at her eyes curiously. She looked nervous, like she had never been to the movies before. I took her thin hand in mine as we walked over to our seats and sat down. Jannali looked at me in shock, "They didn't move. The people didn't move away from me, as they usually do." I looked into her eyes, her beautiful brown eyes and said, "They could never move away from someone as beautiful as you". I turned to the screen, but even out of the corner of my eyes I could see the little smile that broke across her face.


	8. Doctor's Report 4

**Doctor's Report – 4**

I gave up on the cancer and thought about other possible sicknesses. The more I thought, the more the fact that filth had infiltrated my perfect system got on my nerves. I was going to go crazy sitting in this office all day! How to… I needed inspiration, something to encourage me. I needed a disease with a precarious cure. What though? What could destroy the filth?


	9. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

The last few months had been amazing; they were the best few months I'd ever had. Even as I shut my eyes, I could still feel the peacefulness that I hadn't felt since I was a child. I couldn't wait to see Ben tonight at dinner at his apartment. I basically knew everything about him; his athletic build, his tousled brown hair, his sweet personality and he didn't even mind my colour; that was a change.

I stealthily got up from the couch and walked into my bedroom to get ready. What should I wear? I thought. Something nice, but casual. Finally I decided on my strapless, red dress. It had little flowers on the top, left corner and went to my knees. I looked at myself in the mirror and was surprised to see nothing. It must just be the angle I was standing at. I didn't ponder on this thought; I had to go.

I walked out my plain, wooden front door into the night's breeze. The wind lashed my face, sending tingles down my spine, but even this I didn't notice, because he was there; Ben watching me through lidded eyes. I felt like I was melting and started noticing small things, like did I brush my hair, was I dressed too casually, too formally? I didn't know. I bounded towards him and embraced the moment; I wanted to remember this forever. "Shall we go?" he asked me.

Once again, his apartment took my breath away. It was so large and spacious; my apartment that I stayed in when I wasn't in the circus was a lot smaller than this. I looked at him and smiled, "Are you cooking tonight?"

"I already have; we're going to be having bangers and mash on the barbeque." As Ben ducked into the kitchen, I sat down at his table and looked at the beautiful view outside. The city lights flashed and contrasted against the starry night. I wouldn't exchange this moment for anything else; it was so breath-taking. Ben walked into the room and sat beside me. He had laid out the dinner on the table and all I could think of was us, how we met, "Do you remember when we first met?" I asked.

"How could I forget?"

"I remember seeing you and thinking you were the nicest person I had ever met; that I could never meet anyone like you. You've always been there for me and I- I just wanted to thank you for being there for me and for not caring about my nationality." Ben eyes were looking straight at me. He pushed my hair off my face, behind my ear as he leant in for the kiss. I leaned forward and just as we were about to touch, he fell right through me. Literally, he fell through me.


	10. Doctor's Report 5

**Doctor's Report – 5**

What if I slowed the flow of oxygen into her cardiovascular system then she would deteriorate and the life support would be turned off. I would have finally gotten rid of the scum that prevented me from moving forward in payment. My plan was hatched… it was unstoppable. It started last night.


	11. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

My heart pounded through my chest but I couldn't even see my chest, what was happening what had just happened? "Ben I, I , I don't know what's happening!" I reached out for him and his arm went straight through me. He stepped away from me, It was almost as if I was a infectious disease. "Ben please!"

"Who are you - wait what are you, are you even human?

"Of course I'm human Ben don't you remember the movie, our hands held tightly together, does that mean so little to you that you don't even remember?"

"Yes ... but I just fell straight through you Jannali? I haven't even fully processed it myself!"

I had been so focused on Ben I hadn't even noticed I was disappearing! My pulse quickened, sweat speared onto my nonexistent forehead. I was vanishing, disappearing. "Oh God, Jannali what's happening to you!" It seemed as if he was going to come and embrace me in his arms, or what was left of me. To tell me all this was going to go away, that this was all just a bad dream and that I was real, what we had was real. But he just stood there paralysed, staring at me. I looked down to avoid his gaze, and was reminded of what was really happening.

My legs had vanished, there was nothing left.

My thighs were disappearing.

I was disappearing.

My bottom half had vanished and the rest of my body was quickly following.

My stomach was also deteriorating.

I was almost completely gone.

Completely!

I looked at Ben one last time, he reached for me.

Nothing!

I had stood there watching her.

I watched her deteriorate into nothing.

How did this happen?

Suddenly it all came back to me!

_A young aboriginal girl, Jannali Belcourt, Is currently in a coma after she fell of a trapeze while performing in the circus. A racist remark about her Aboriginal heritage is thought to have caused her loss of concentration. She is currently on her way to the Hospital where she will be put on life support."_

It was her Jannali, the trapeze artist on the news. Jannali was the girl who was in a coma. The girl who was dying.


	12. Doctor's Report 6

**Doctor's Report – 6**

I called another conference saying that she was deteriorating and that having her here would crowd the hospital. My fellow doctors and nurses decided that if she kept deteriorating then the life support could be turned off. Finally the scum would be thrown in the trash where it belonged. I didn't care what happened to it after it left our hospital. The moment it was off the property it would be erased from the records.


	13. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

_A spirit... My girlfriend was a spirit. It can't be true; she can't really be in a coma. _The long hours we spent together, all gone. But why did I care so much, I had only known her for a few months.

_The reality struck me, I loved her, and I wasn't going to let this one go. I sprinted out to the street. _

'Taxi, Taxi please,' I begged. But there was no reply. I tore through the throng of people to the main street; surely I would find a taxi there.

'Taxi,' I called again, 'TAXI!'

My voice broke and I burst into tears, but I knew crying wouldn't solve anything. I noticed the silver of a taxi in my peripheral vision and instinctively towards the fluorescent colour. With my luck, an unhurried family reached the taxi previous to my arrival there, but I wouldn't be stopped, I dived onto the backseat of the taxi, only to be shoved out and yelled at by the assertive driver and lethargic, laid-back family.

It was agony to stand by and watch the family climb into the car at a snail's pace.

I was finally able to locate a taxi, but I didn't have enough money to travel all the way to the hospital. I knew I couldn't waste any more time arguing, Jannali could be dead within the next few minutes, so I sprinted the last kilometre.

_Faster, Faster_, I urged myself. I hastily propelled myself through the over-crowded streets of Sydney. I darted to the nearby Whiteleaf Hospital.

Waiting impatiently outside the automatic glass doors of the gloomy interior was the devil.

'Stephanie, I don't have time for...'

She cut me off, trying to kiss me.

'Stephanie, you know this won't work out, you know what happened last time, let me go, please Stephanie.'

'Ben, you can do better, she was a spirit and she'll be dead in a minute anyway.'

'How did you know?'

'Ben, I know you so well, we would be perfect together.'

'STEPHANIE! How will she die?'

'I'm the guard Ben, my job is to keep you out of the hospital. The doctor has the life-support controller in his hand. With the flick of one switch, she'll be dead, and we can live happily together.'

'NO STEPHANIE! That's illegal, how will he get away with it?'

'Oh Ben, he has power, the entire world knows that she has a disease with a precarious cure, she wouldn't live anyway. The oxygen rates are diminishing.'

'Why does the doctor want to kill her anyway? She is just a beautiful, innocent young lady.'

'Innocent? She's wasting our beds, our medicine, our time... She's black, you should know she's racist, she stole my boyfriend, my ex-soon-to-be husband.'

'We were never getting married Stephanie, I will never be with anybody other than Jannali.'

Finally, I knew the whole story. I shoved her aside and hastily made my way into Whiteleaf Hospital before Doctor David Robinson flicked the switch that held Jannali's life.

I reached his office and flew open the door, my face full of fury.

The doctor turned on his chair to look at me, the life-support controller in his hand.

'I'm not going to let her die!' I yelled, the tears building up in my eyes, but I wasn't sad, I was angry.

'You have no control whatsoever; I have her life in my hands!'


	14. Doctor's Report 7

**Doctor's Report – 7**

It was slowly dying… I was winning. It was just two weeks until the life support was turned off and it was out of my life for good. The wait was painstakingly long and every surgery seemed to last days instead of hours, but the time was passing and I was counting down. Soon it would be gone forever.

Today was the day. I would rid the world of another filthy black creature that called its self human. I strode purposely down the corridors to the room containing my distaste. It was time. Just one flick of a switch…


	15. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"WHAT! NO BUT YOU CANT!" Ben roared with fury radiating out of his body

"She's just another useless Aboriginal destined for nothing, just taking up and wasting hard earned tax payers money and resources!" The doctor retorted keeping a cold glaze over his expressions

"What, how could you even say that you're a heartless uneducated, idiotic and racist man that the world would CERTAINLY NOT miss!"

"No you're the idiot!" You just insulted not only a qualified doctor of many prestigious honours, but also the man who holds a black animals life who for some sick reason you have feelings for in his hands. Whom my I add could be cut off life support at any moment of my choice."

'You wouldn't , you couldn't you're better than this at least, please, I'm begging you, you're right, you do hold a beautiful, funny, intelligent woman of colours life. In your hands a life you can save if you choose to do the right thing."

The doctor seemed to be making up his mind as if maybe, just maybe he would relent and not turn off the life support and let the girl who meant everything to him live and keep the little sliver she had of staying alive blazing.

"B-b-b-but she black! She's basically an animal! I, I ... NO I WILL NOT LET A NIGGA LIVE WHEN I COULD BE SAVING THE LIFE OF A DESERVING WHITE PERSON!

And then he pressed the button and the heart monitor stoped beeping.

I felt the level of fury rising bubbling over and escaping everywhere in the whole world. I lunged at him punching him in the face so hard it knocked him out. He fell limp to the floor but I didn't care **nothing **else mattered except for Jannali **nothing**! The whole world was blurred out as I ran to her lying in the bed I plugged back in the life support. Hoping, praying she would be ok, that she would come back to me. Then I knelt down on the cold floor and kissed her not caring who saw me not caring if the doctor took me to court not even caring if I died just as long as she was ok. Just as long as she woke up.

Then her eyes opened.


	16. Epilogue

Epilogue

For three days I have been isolated, the white walls surrounding me, enclosing my body in a wall of confusion. The only colour in my hospital room is the deep red of the roses on my side table sent to me by someone called Ben.

Ben. The riddle has been eating at my mind. Who's Ben? I racked my brain for the millionth time, did I know a Ben? Every now and then I get a glimpse of a face, a shadow or a shape imprinted into the back of my eyelids or a familiar laugh, a man's laugh ringing in my ears. I know he must be real because when this happens to me I smile, it's almost as though my memory is keeping a secret from me and only giving me a trace of the insane happiness I must have felt.

Knock Knock! The door swung open. A tall man with brown hair, tan skin and bright blue eyes walked into my hospital room. The light was shining behind him highlighting his strong, athletic build. It would have been the perfect shot if he hadn't been holding a goldfish.

"JANNALI!" The man exclaimed as he ran towards me and pulled me into his arms.

I used all my strength to push him off. "What are you doing?" I demanded "I don't even know you and you're hugging me like I'm the long lost teddy bear of your childhood!"

"Jannali, I'm Ben remember? You were in a coma and then you met me, we went to the movies together, we saw Revenge of the Butterflies, and then you told me you loved me." Ben seemed to almost be in tears.

"I was in a coma. You said it yourself, how could I do all that when I wasn't even conscious?"

"It was your spirit Jannali, but I didn't know. Then my goldfish told me the truth and I saved you before the racist medical team could turn your life support off!" Ben frantically explained.

"Wait. So you're telling me that when I was unconscious my spirit floated to your house, we hung out for a bit and then your magical talking goldfish with a sixth sense explained that I was in coma so you ran and saved me before my evil, racist doctor could turn off the machine keeping me alive?" Her scornful tone reeked of sarcasm. Ben's eyes glazed over with tears.

"Jannali, I love you more than anything and I don't want to let you go. If you don't remember the past please just can we start again?"

"If you don't leave now I'm going to call the nurse to come and take you away." My warning tone had no trace of regret as my hand hovered over the emergency button.

Splash! My attention was averted to the goldfish bowl; the small orange fish was jumping and circling frantically in his bowl. I could feel the familiar smile wiping away my serious frown. Suddenly all thoughts of calling the nurse and ridding Ben from my life were gone. "What's the name of your goldfish?" I asked curiously.

"Kantunga. It means..." Ben started.

"Mother of spirits," I finished, "I know, it's an aboriginal name. Where did you get it from?"

"It came to me in a dream" He responded, the smile on his face lighting up his eyes as he looked at the little fish swimming happily in its bowl.

And all the memories came flooding back.


End file.
